![]() § Acknowledging and understanding the root cause of your pain. “New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” Lao Tzu If that is lacking, assess whether you should exit. Healthy relationships come with a sense of commitment and mutual respect. If they refuse to take you seriously or become aggressive, walk away. Most people do not want to intentionally hurt your feelings. Listen to their response keeping an open mind. Focus on the issue not placing blame, referring to past events, or behavior. When ready, choose your time and place to ensure no distractions and remain calm. Constructive communication requires clarity of thought to understand what upset you and why. You must communicate your feelings to begin healing. ![]() ![]() It was not the good ole boys! I had to decide that I am worthy, enough, and deserved better. My root cause was a feeling of unworthiness and never being enough. Take time to understand the root cause because it is not always obvious. I was then able to see and seize upon the opportunities that came from that traumatic situation. I sat with myself to understand the wave of emotions felt and to ensure any actions came from my place of joy and forgiveness versus anger. I decided to speak openly, honestly, factually, and without anger to my boss. Initially, I buried my emotions while bursting at the seams but realized I was harming myself. I paid that price burying my emotions of sadness dealing with what is called the “good ole boys” which was a closed circle of middle-aged white men while in corporate who mostly took care of those who looked like them. A heavy price is paid when you deny, rationalize, and bury your emotional pain. Not revealing your hurt or being vulnerable risking discomfort, you erode your self-confidence, peace, and overall well-being. These beliefs distort your perception of reality about what is possible. It requires patience and tenacity to dig up the emotions buried and pull up the root of your fixed and self-limiting beliefs. Throughout your life you are conditioned not to feel or express feelings. Your family is bewildered at your outburst and now burdened to sort through their own emotions from that experience. Your outburst was your body’s way of temporarily releasing the pent-up emotion from your boss’s behavior with no resolution for the pain. You are at home a few weeks later and your spouse says or does something minor resulting in an overreaction. ![]() You made excuses for the behavior and buried your feelings of anger or so you thought. You are now uncomfortable being in his presence, yet you feel you must go to work. For example, your boss made a sexual advance, you did not say anything and told no one. You must journey through it.” Jessica MooreĪ study from the University of Texas found that by not acknowledging your emotions you make them stronger. Updated March 1, 2021.“True emotional healing does not happen without feeling. Is crying good for you? Harvard Health Blog. The costs of repression: a meta-analysis on the relation between repressive coping and somatic diseases. Using crying to cope: Physiological responses to stress following tears of sadness. Sharman L, Dingle G, Vingerhoets A, et al. Mindfulness meditation: A research-proven way to reduce stress. doi:10.1111/nyas.12998Īmerican Psychological Association. Annals of the New York Academy of Science. Mindfulness meditation and the immune system: a systematic review of randomized controlled trials. Mindfulness Training and Physical Health: Mechanisms and Outcomes. Mindfulness-based therapy: A comprehensive meta-analysis. Defining and Measuring Meditation-Related Adverse Effects in Mindfulness-Based Programs.
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